Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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