And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
