Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
