Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I deserve this hangover.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
