You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
