So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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