I just pynch a tree in the face
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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