covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
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We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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