I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
