Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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