There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize