When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
