why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
