we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
