If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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