So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
