we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
