I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
