Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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