No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
