What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
