i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
