do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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