We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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