Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
