Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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