We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Randomize
