it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
