I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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