i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
