Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
