Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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