Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
