My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
