you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
