sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
