I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
as a side note pls kill me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
