I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
