Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
