just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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