I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
is that a dick in a sweater?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
