It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
