two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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