What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I love having hate sex.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
