i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
