I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
