Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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