my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize