Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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