I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize