I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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