After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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