arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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