We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
