Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
