is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We just shotgunned beers for America
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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