You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
