I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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