that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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